All of my revisions are done, and I’m currently writing (new scenes) and editing (old scenes). I’m eradicating traces of my old writing style from chapters I penned ages ago, and a common syntax issue caught my eye. I’ve seen it in writing besides my own. Plenty of writing, actually.
Writers! Try to avoid this sentence structure: Subject, long rambling subordinate clause, verb.
By the time my eyes reach the verb, I forgot the subject/point of the sentence, thanks to Mr. Subordinate Clause. Keep verbs close to their subject(s) whenever possible. There’s always a better way to weave the information trapped inside a subordinate clause. The best way is to break the sentence into two (or more, depending on how loaded the clause is).
For more information about subordinate clauses, check this out: http://www.grammar-monster.com/glossary/subordinate_clause.htm
Erica Martin 